Thursday, May 3, 2012

The Mother is Everything!

"The mother is everything - she is our consolation in sorrow, our hope in misery, and our strength in weakness. She is the source of love, mercy, sympathy, and forgiveness. He who loses his mother loses a pure soul who blesses and guards him constantly."  --Kahlil Gibran

May is Mother Day Month, and since my mom and I have been on a lifelong journey together, I dedicate this inspiration to Mother Mary.

I was not immaculately conceived. I did have a dad, but My father and my mother had a rocky marriage at best, and by the time I came along, things were falling apart at the seams. They made it another four years, and after that, it was just plain over. My mom found herself with 3 kids, a failed marriage, no job skills, and an uncooperative ex husband. She had a complete emotional meltdown, and understandably so.

Many women I meet today are in this same boat, and when they talk about their lives, my heart goes out to them because I grew up in the chaos of what that can create, and I completely get it. For a while I lived with my Dad and then both my grandmothers. Living with my Dad made me independent, and my grandmothers were like second mothers to me. But by the time I went back to live with my mom, I was an willful independent teenager who needed to be corralled and Mother Mary took me to task.

No teenager likes to be harnessed, but when you aren’t reigned in as a child, that’s what you get. I became a feisty rebel. I was still a good daughter, but I can’t imagine what I’d be if I hadn’t had my mother to get me in line. Of course, none of this occurred to me at the time. I was too busy being resentful.

In my early twenties, it hit me like a lightening bolt. Everyone did their best. I realized that one day I too, would be required to show grace, patience, love, and draw boundaries, even if people didn’t like it. The boundaries are for all of us, and without them, our lives become a mess. I didn’t realize then that my mother was drawing boundaries all over the place, but today, when I have to draw a line in the sand with people, I remember that it is the most loving thing I can do for them, and for me. When people behave inappropriately in your life, draw the line in the sand, and keep to it. They may hate you for it today, but one day when they gain emotional intelligence, they will see that it was the most loving choice to make.

I thank my Mom for being strict with me. Now she is 90, and I couldn’t love her more. She made something out her life, and mine. Everything I do is for her, because without her, there would be no me. Remember on this Mothers Day to thank your mom for the good, take the best and leave the rest. Give a good and meaningful heart felt hug, and say the words. It’s worth more than a present J Love. Love. Love.

Yours, Cat

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